Some people say that if you can laugh in another language, you’re no longer just learning it, you’re starting to live it!
Many English learners discover that understanding grammar is one thing, but understanding humour is something completely different. English jokes often depend on double meanings, cultural references, or simply unexpected endings.
So, in this episode, we’ll explain how different kinds of jokes work, we’ll laugh at some terrible English jokes, explain why they work, and look at the language behind the laughter.
Voice message from Valentina from Romania
Why not XmakingX (make) a whole episode about jokes
A Person of Interest TV Series, Reza looks like Finch (Michael Emerson and Jim Caviezel)
How to tell Jokes in English: https://inglespodcast.com/146
Some jokes from episode 146:
One of my students said to me yesterday, “Would you punish me for something I didnt do?” I said, ” Of course not.” She said, “Good, because I havent done my homework.”
I met a girl last week who said “I was born in London. I said, “Which part?”
She said, “All of me.”
I asked a student to conjugate the verb ‘to walk’ in the present tense. He said, “ ……I walk……..you walk………he walks……..
I said, “Quicker please”, He said “I run…….you run……he runs”
A few more jokes
Reza
Patient – Doctor, doctor! My eye hurts every time I add milk to my cup of coffee.
Doctor – Try taking the spoon out after stirring before you drink.
Why can’t moths ever fly in a straight line?
Have you ever seen the size of moth balls?
What’s usually black and white, yet read all over?
A newspaper.
Which two letters are the worst for your teeth?
D, K.
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
I’ll tell you tomorrow.
An English man, Scottish man and Irish man have been captured by bandits are lined up and about to be shot. The English man shouts “Volcano, look!” and points behind the firing squad. When the firing squad turn around look behind them, he runs away to safety. The Scottish man has learnt quickly and he shouts “Tornado, look!” and points behind the firing squad. When the firing squad look behind them, he also runs away to safety. The Irish man is determined to try a similar trick and shouts “Fire…”
Customer in butcher’s shop – Excuse me, do you have a sheep’s head?
Butcher – No, it’s just the way I comb my hair!
Why don’t physicists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything!
Patient – Doctor, doctor! I think I’ve broken my arm in two places!
Doctor – Well, you should stop going to those places.
Craig
Craig likes one-liners that often have a double meaning, a play on words. For example: Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
The problem with kleptomaniacs is that they take things literally.
A kleptomaniac went to a psychiatrist for help. The psychiatrist said, here, take these pills and if you’re no better in three weeks, bring me a plasma TV.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, “How do you drive this thing?”
Idiomatic: Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire it sank. This proves once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
I met the man who invented crosswords yesterday. I can’t remember his name, It’s P something T something R.
My friend went away to a mime school. I haven’t heard from him since.
The police arrested two teenage boys yesterday. One was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
News flash: a man who swallowed some scrabble tiles is experiencing severe bowel movements. Doctors say his next visit to the bathroom could spell disaster.
I bought the world’s worst thesaurus yesterday. It’s not only terrible, it’s also terrible.
Two WiFi engineers got married. The reception was fantastic!
…and now it’s your turn to practise your English.
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Aleksandra Jurczak
In next week’s episode: Forest fires and fire vocabulary
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The music in this podcast is by Pitx. The track is called ‘See You Later’