In today’s podcast, you’ll learn how to make small talk, chit-chat, and casual conversation so that you’ll know what to say next time you want to start, and continue, an informal conversation in English.
https://inglespodcast.com/77 (Nov. 2015) How to start a conversation and make small talk
https://inglespodcast.com/99 The Weather
The challenging thing about small talk is that we have to go with the flow. We can’t script it and prepare everything in advance like a presentation, for example. Small talk is spontaneous.
“Your goal is to be interested, not interesting.” Rachel Greenwald
How to get started (The Opener)
Comment on the situation: “This coffee shop has great coffee. It’s a shame the music is so loud?” or “That was a great presentation, what did you think?”.
Give a genuine compliment: “I love your shoes; where did you get them?”. “That’s a great T-shirt.”
Ask about general info/recommendations: “Do you know what time it is?” or “Have you tried the new restaurant nearby?” or “Excuse me, do you live around here? I’m looking for a decent pub.”
Keeping the conversation going
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Use “What,” “How,” and “Why” to get more than a “yes/no” answer.
Use the FORD Method:
Family: “Do you have kids?” (Keep it light).
Occupation: “What do you do?” or “Working on anything exciting?”.
Recreation: “What do you do for fun?” “Read any good books lately?”.
Dreams: “Anything you’d like to try/learn?”. “What are you excited about at the moment?”
Balance Talking & Listening: Aim for a 2:3 ratio (listen more, talk less), and avoid making it an interrogation. “Listen to understand not to reply.” – Celeste Headlee
Don’t be afraid of the pause. Sometimes we reply too quickly. Try paraphrasing what the person says.
Example at a conference: Is this your first year at the conference or have you been before?
It’s my second year. I got so much out of it last year that I couldn’t wait to come again and meet new people in the industry. What about you?
Oh, so you came last year and really got a lot out of it. No, this is my first time. How does last year compare with what you’ve seen so far?
Super tip: “Tell me more”
I really enjoyed last year’s conference – Tell me more.
I found the last presentation really interesting – Oh, that’s great! Tell me more.
The food has really improved here since they changed the chef. She’s added some excellent fish dishes to the menu. – Really! Tell me more!
It’s a shame you missed the last meeting. We did some brainstorming on how to improve sales and attract more customers. – That sounds interesting. Tell me more.
Be aware of your body language: Maintain eye contact, nod, and put away your phone to show you are fully present.
How to end the conversation (signal that you’re going to leave – it’s better than saying you going to the toilet or getting a drink)
Ask a final question: I need to go in a moment, but before I go……… tell me more about your trip to Paris/do you have a business card/how can I reach you?/how long are you staying? Can we grab a coffee tomorrow?
It’s been really nice meeting you/talking with you/getting to know you.
…and now it’s your turn to practise your English. When was the last time you had small talk with a stranger? Tell us what happened, how it went and how you felt.
Or, do the small talk challenge. Talk to one stranger every day for a week. Meet 7 new people and tell us about your experience.
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In next week’s episode: Is Chivalry dead?
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The music in this podcast is by Pitx. The track is called ‘See You Later’